Coma
by The Foolish Hobo
Summary: Deidara is put into a coma by some sort of accident and can't remember anything of his past.. suck at summaries.. may seem better (or worse) than you think.. Deidara's POV.. haz sasodei.. may have bad grammar.. haz censored profanity
1. Coma

Noises.

Endless noises that refuse to stop. They are merely hums in the distance, but to my mind it sounds much too loud.

Voices.

The noises are coming together to sound like talking. I can't tell what they are saying, but the tone being spoken doesn't sound good.

Words.

The voices soon form broken sentences that leave me confused, but the words sound like they speak of an accident which leaves me wondering who had been in an accident..

Perhaps it was me, that would probably explain the constant pain on my body.

Sentences.

The words are not scattered anymore. I can hear clear sentences, there being two arguing voices, one angry and the other calm.

"What the hell do you mean by that!?"

"The injuries are severe and it's a miracle he's even alive with an impact like that, just be glad he's still alive."

"But he can't possibly have lost his memories, right?"

"They could still be there, it is only a possibility that memory loss could happen, but for the moment, he will be in a coma for quite some time.. Coma patients are said to be able hear their surroundings, so you can try talking to him if you like."

Silence.

The argument was stopped. The air felt heavy and I couldn't help but wonder if they were talking about me. I tried to command my eyes to open, but they refuse to obey that order.

Darkness.

I see nothing and now I hear nothing, but I can feel a steady wave of pain that courses through my body and the disgusting hospital smell

I finally heard the slight scuffle of footsteps and the thud of a door closing.

What happened?

Who are those people?

Why can't I move?

Why am I in so much pain?

Why do I feel so.. _empty_?


	2. Alone

"They said you were in a coma.."

Coma?

"They said you might be able to hear me.."

I can..

"They said you might have have memory loss.."

Memories..

"If you don't know who I am.. My name is Sasori.."

Sasori..?

"I hope you don't forget about your past, I want you to still remember us.."

To remember us..?

"Our friends are trying to be supportive, but they aren't exactly the supportive type.."

Who are our friends?

"They aren't very helpful.. Especially Hidan.. I prefer him spewing profanities than be caring.

"Kakuzu tells me to stop wasting my time worrying because 'time is money.'

"Itachi didn't really try.

"Kisame tries to be supportive by trying to have me go out and have 'fun.'

"Zetsu tried to cheer me up, but his bipolar personality did not help at all.

"Tobi, the annoying idiot, tried to cheer me up with a bunch of sweets even though I don't like sweets.

"Pein tells me to get over it and Konan is trying to be a therapist, but I think I find talking to you to be more comforting than our odd little group."

What wonderful friends..

"And that's pretty much a summary of what they're trying to do, and even though some don't seem to care, they do.. Well, I'm pretty sure they care.."

I don't care. Keep talking.

"I wish you could speak back. We could have our daily arguments about random stuff. We could hang out. We could just talk about pure nonsense. I just want to hear you speak, even if it's just one word.. Please.."

I wish I could.

"They said you could be in a coma for weeks, months, even years.. But I can't wait that long. I'm impatient and if you do keep me waiting for years.. _I'll kill you."_

Patience is a virtue you know..

"Please wake up soon, brat.. I.. I feel like a part of me is gone.."

I understand how you feel.

"And that sounded so sappy.."

It did.

"I'm going crazy already.."

Isn't everyone crazy?

"Just wake up.."

I want to..

"I have to go.."

No, don't go..

"I don't want to leave you alone.."

Please don't leave me alone.

"Because I know how much you hate it.."

Then stay!

"But I have to go."

Don't leave me!

"See you later, brat.."

I don't want you to go!

_A scrape of a chair.. Footsteps.. Door opening.._

Sasori..

_Footsteps.. Door closing.._

Please come back soon..

_Fading footsteps.._

I don't know think I know you..

But I want to know about you..

Please come back soon

And keep me from being alone..


	3. Patience

"Hey Dei."

You're not Sasori.

"It's Kisame.."

..You're one of my friends aren't you?

"I'm one of your friends.. if you even remember us.."

I don't remember.

"People say I look like a shark.."

I'm friends with a shark..?

"So, when you wake up, when you see a man that looks like a shark.. Remember that the man is me."

..I'll try.

"Your condition worries us you know.."

My coma, amnesia, or the pains I feel?

"But I guess it was expected.."

Why?

"Because you're so reckless and such an idiot.."

I feel myself hating you, shark..

"And you think art is fleeting, you're probably not even scared to die."

You're wrong.

"But this affected us a lot.."

Really?

"You even make the emotionless ones worry about you. You probably affected Sasori the most."

How?

"He seems to be eating less.."

Is he depressed?

"His work performance is going down.."

I don't want this.

"He's more emotionless than ever.."

Am I that important to him?

"Because.."

Of me.

"Of the accident."

It's my fault for getting in some sort of accident.

"Of course it's not your fault."

Lie.

"But try to avoid getting in this situation again."

Oh really?

"You might not come out alive next time."

I'll keep that in mind.

"We really do care what happens to you."

I don't want to continue this conversation.

"I don't know what we'll do if you died."

Shut up.

"You kept us entertained."

Let's change this topic, _now._

"And if you go, who knows who Tobi will cling to next?"

Is this finally a change in this topic?

"Who else will blow everything they see up?"

If I could move, I would have killed you by now sharky.

"It's hard to find someone like you.."

*mental sigh*

"A psychotic, gender-confused.."

Count to ten.. Count to ten..

"..short-tempered blonde who considers his pyromaniac explosions 'art.'"

Patience is a virtue.. Patience is a virtue..

"..."

Did he finally shut up?

"I thought for sure you would wake up if I made you annoyed. You probably can't hear me."

Well, _I can.._

"But just in case you can.."

..Are you going to yell in my ear?

"I should warn you that Hidan and Tobi may possibly be more annoying than me."

So, I should hate the three of you.

"And maybe Itachi.. you seem to hate him, so maybe he might make you angry.."

Why did I hate him?

"I have no idea why you hate him, and I think he doesn't know why either."

So, I may find out eventually.

"Well, I'll see you again some other time."

YES!

"You're lucky the doctors would only let one person in at a time for the moment.."

..Why..?

"Cause Tobi's out there and he can't _wait_ to see you."

Two people called him annoying..

"Here's a warning.."

Please _prevent_ him from coming in..

"He probably will glomp you.. screaming at you to wake up."

Oh shit.. Stay! I don't care if you're annoying, keep the idiot out!

"_SSSEEENNNNPPPAAAIIII!"_

_Oh hell no!_

"Hehehe.. good luck."

Don't leave me!

"See ya!"

Damn.

In the distance-"Hey Tobi, ya wanna see your senpai?"

Curse you sharky..

"_I'M COMING SENPAI!"_

NOOOOO! Someone save me.. please..


	4. Annoyance

Tight substance hugging me..

Can't breathe..

"NUUUUUUU! SEENNNNPPAAII! WAKE UP! DON'T DIE ON ME!"

Yelling in background..

Odd substance removes itself from me.

Regains ability to breathe.

"NNOOOO! I HAVE TO STAY BY SENPAI'S SIDE SO HE'LL WAKE UP!"

Stay near me and I _will_ die.

"Look kid, if you hug him like that you'll suffocate him."

"..What does suffocate mean?"

Idiot..

"..You are making it hard for him to breathe which may cause him to die. Do you understand that?"

"NNOOO! I DON'T WANT SENPAI TO DIE! I PROMISE I WON'T HUG SENPAI LIKE THAT AGAIN!"

Good.

"Good boy.. But, just in case, try _not_ to touch him in any way."

"YES MA'AM!"

Damn his voice is loud.

"..Senpai.." Poke. Poke. "Can you hear me?" Poke.

Stop poking me you insufferable idiot! Of course I can!

Poke. "Why aren't you waking up senpai?" Poke.

Didn't that person tell you not to f***ing touch me?

"Senpai?" Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke..

You really are much too annoying..

"You're still alive right?" Poke.

I'd rather be dead than around you.

*gasp* "SENPAI'S DEAD!"

Why am I 'friends' with this idiot?

Commotion in background.. followed by what feels like a giant stampede..

"What the f*** Tobi! He's not f***ing dead!"

"You're such an idiot, Tobi."

"**Tobi is a bad boy. **Don't make us worry like that."

"BUT WHY ISN'T HE WAKING UP!? HE HAS TO BE DEAD!"

"**Tobi.. **he's not dead, he's in a coma. Which means he's going to be asleep for a long time."

"BUT..!

"Get the dumba** out of here. He's too stupid to understand."

"Come on Tobi.. **You can be an idiot somewhere else.**"

"BUT SENPAI NEEDS ME!"

"**Tobi**, shush. **Follow me**, like a good boy."

"BUT..!"

"Oh mah Jashin, Tobi, stop talking about butts and get the f*** out!"

"Bu..!"

"**He's right Tobi, ****stop talking about butts.**"

Mumble.. "But I wasn't talking about butts though.."

Footsteps..

"Finally, the f***ing idiot's gone!"

Is he really gone?

"Well, looks like it's just you and me blondie."

..Are you annoying too?

"If you can hear.. Prepare to get annoyed!"

Surely you can't be more annoying than the idiot and the shark.. right?


	5. Warning: Censored Profanities

"You better f***ing wake up soon blondie, I can't f***ing stand Tobi.. not like I ever could f***ing stand him."

What makes you hate him even more?

"A mopey dumba** Tobi is even worse than happy dumba** Tobi."

Oh yeah?

"He's still hyperactive, except he's even more f***ing clingy than usual, if that's even possible."

He's away from me, that's all that matters.

"If you were awake, that dumba** would direct his f***ing attention to you instead of the rest of us.."

I'm better off unconscious.

"He's getting everybody so f***ing angry and then they get annoying. It's f***ing hell without you to distract him."

I don't want to distract that idiot.

*long rant with much too many profanities later*

zzzz..

"You better wake up soon blondie, we all worry for you ya'know."

Wow.. you said a sentence that's actually kid friendly.

"The next time I come here.. you better be f***ing awake!"

You guys make me not want to wake up.. now go away.


	6. Another Visitor

**A/N: so tired.. so busy.. curses school, work, and cousin**

**so little free time T-T**

**may have rushed this, so may have possible errors**

* * *

"Oh my God, Dei! Seeing you in a coma is way worse than hearing you're in a coma!"

Oh gawd, not another 'friend.'

"You have no idea how worried we are about you!"

So I've heard.

"From what I've heard, the three most annoying idiots of our group already came to visit you.."

The three most annoying ones happened to visit me in a row.

"Everyone else is somewhere near antisocial and too serious."

What do you classify as?

"I'm the most normal one here. Not a nut and not an unemotional creep."

You sure about that?

"You were somewhere near the annoying ones with some of the stuff you do."

You're so far being as helpful as the last three.

"But your greatest trait is your stubborn personality."

Care to explain?

"You refuse to give up, even when times seriously sucked. That helped the rest of us to keep going. You always stick to your ideals, every other opinion never seems to get through that thick skull of yours. You're always so sure of yourself. That's pretty admirable."

You really think I'm admirable?

"It's how I _know_ you'll definitely wake up and probably quickly too. If you need motivation, think of us, your friends."

Three of them don't really motivate me.

"Think of Sasori, you cared so much for him.. even though you guys didn't really show it publicly by arguing most of the time.. "

He seems the most sane out of all of you so far.

"But you definitely show respect towards him, you even call him Sasori no Danna. You respect him even more than Pein!"

Sasori no Danna..? I suppose that has some sort of ring to it.. Though I must say, who's Pein?

"I mean, he's like our unofficial group leader and you follow orders from Sasori more reluctantly than you do with him!"

Oh really?

"But then again.. You never actually wanted to be a part of our little group. He had you become a part of us because you were odd and he wasn't taking no for an answer."

So he forced me to join and expects me to be happy to be into his crazy circle of friends.

"But since he used Itachi to make you join, you tend to hate him."

My anger for him should be directed to the leader then.

"Though if you never joined the group, you would end up with no one probably visiting you."

Well, I don't believe I'll mind if I don't have to make contact with annoying idiots.

"Besides, we made your life more interesting, and if you didn't join us, you probably never would have gotten into your 'true art' nor would you have met Sasori!"

Heh, I don't even know what my 'true art' is.

"You two would argue what true art is.. you saying it's fleeting, him saying it's eternal. It was entertaining at first considering the short tempers or you and Sasori, but the fact you guys somehow always ended up arguing about art every time you two met just made it tiresome. It's not like there ever will be a winner anyway, both of you always end up changing the topic to something completely different to what the heck true art is."

If art was eternal, it would soon grow tiresome to look at. Besides, it's not like everything lasts forever. Everything's always fleeting~

"You don't want to be in a coma for eternity, you never really could stay still for that long.. much less for a minute.."

Hell no, everything's fleeting! I'll show you!

"Oh! Will you look at the time!"

I can't see the time.

"I gotta go!"

I'll hear from you some other time then.

"See you later! Oh, I almost forgot! My name's Konan, don't forget about me~"

No promises.

"I'm the only girl in the group and one of two who has blue hair.. So, you better not forget me Deidei~"

Well, now I know to look for one blue-haired girl and a shark-man.


	7. A Nameless Visitor

**AN: when tired, listen to upbeat music.. and drink tea :3**

* * *

*After what I believe to be some weeks later after having the same people visiting me*

"Hello."

Hmm..? Your voice doesn't sound familiar.

"I must say I can't really believe that you're still in a coma after all this time."

I'm trying, no worries.

"And I believe I may possibly be going crazy."

Because of the idiot known as Tobi?

"It seems I'm not entirely used to you not bursting into my room and threatening to make me and everything I love explode."

You're crazy.

"To think I'll enjoy the peace and quiet of me finally being able to be alone."

What about Tobi? He must be annoying you somehow!

"I'm honestly surprised that I have not been a target of Tobi's annoying personality. It is rather peculiar.."

That's so unfair.

"But according to Kisame, I'm, 'too scary to annoy,' though Hidan and you sure don't think I'm too scary."

So Hidan must be annoying you in my absence!

"However, even under those circumstances, he seems to be saving up his angry rant just for you. Though he does vent some of his frustration on Kakuzu, he always seems to come to you when he's most frustrated."

Why do I have to suffer his curse filled rant?

"He probably comes to you because you can't really severely injure him, though that doesn't really make much sense since he's a masochist, but, of course, he never really made much sense."

He really doesn't.. He kept talking to me about some made-up god called Jashin trying to make me join that creepy religion..

"But enough of talking of the annoyances in our lives."

But I want to insult the annoyances.

"There are more pressing matters to talk about."

I can't even reply back.

"Though you probably can't hear me, and if you can, you can't reply back."

At least you can notice that.

"For my warning, there's no need to reply back."

A warning of what?

"Well, to start off, it seems other people outside our group are noting your absence."

So?

"They seem to be causing problems for the members of our group who refuse to tell about your whereabouts respecting your privacy and acknowledging the fact you already have three idiots annoying you."

And I haven't gone one day without a visitor (I think) so much for privacy.

"One thing we did learn about you was the fact you started some sort of business or entertainment for the public that you had not told us about. Though how they even know we associate with you or possibly know about your whereabouts is unknown."

I don't see the problem with that.

"Leader-Sama doesn't like to not know what's going on in this group."

I heard he's scary..

"And he worries you may have told others about us while we know nothing of them."

I don't even know what I could have told them. Don't remember a thing.

"So, when and if you wake up, I suggest you beware of Leader-Sama."

I'm not scared of him!

"He could possibly put you back into your coma again or possibly some other form of injury if you make a wrong move."

..Perhaps I may be scared to be put back into the coma.. you know how frustrating it is to be unable to punch someone while they are purposely annoying me?

"And that is all I have to say."

You gonna leave now?

"I bid you good day."

Hold up! Who the heck are you?

..Come back here you damn bastard!


End file.
